FLIRT WITH ME (PART 1)

Maybe I had reached the rock bottom. Maybe I just desperately needed something to fill my empty and aching life. Maybe I just needed some love, some attention, something to get rid of the isolation. What ever it was, during that time I was one unhappy and confused person (Cuz I know I don't have that desperate need for attention now and I'm much happier):

Some months later from the LA incident, I was sexually frustrated and hated that nothing was happening. I wanted some attention, some excitement. If I don't get any commitments, no relationship, no future and no promise of anything why shouldn't I explore my possibilities? I thought I was wasting my 'potential'. Over the course of a few months I had elicited some sexually-oriented comments and hints from guys and I was happy about the fact that people were interested in me. I wasn't expecting that since in Pakistan nothing was as open as in San Francisco. I resented what I percieved as 'saving-myself' for someone who didn't seem that interested or who didn't give me as much attention as I wanted. I wanted guys to look at me, to adore me, to lust after me; I wanted to do something wild. I felt the need to shock my parents and break away from every thing people expected from me. I hated everything. So I guess at one point I said, "Let's see what I can do."

I joined the gym, got a new hairdo,bought new clothes, and started attending some wild parties.

One day I was at a restaurant with my cousins...