MENTAL BREAKDOWN

Oh God! Today something happened to me. I woke up and suddenly fell in to such a severe attack of depression. It was definitely not like the usual sad moods. That is normal and that one can take. It happens sometimes one is down but this was not like that. It was so different. It was such strange mental anguish that I felt suddenly as if I won't be able to face life. A pain so severe that it shocked me.

I didn't eat anything-still haven't. "Are you okay?" my mom asked and suddenly I burst open and started to cry. Nobody understood what had happened suddenly. I couldn't either. It's never happened before-well, atleast not from a very long time. How do I even explain the fear and pain. It was almost unendurable and it terrified me. I'm worried that I might have some mental disorder or something. It was an attack. It definitely was but I don't know of what.

It's just that I've been really down for weeks now but it was still okay because it was the normal thing. I still functioned right. There wasn't that strange strangling insecurity. The pain wasn't unendurable or this extreme. This, on the other hand, was something that would prevent me from functioning. In a normal down mood one can control oneself and still feel okay and is just fine. That's why we all can survive anything but in a mental state like I felt it doesn't even matter what your problems are and the pain is so bad that one is completely paralyzed.

I feel better now but I'm scared when it will happen again.