STOP THE RAIN

It's been raining and pouring since two days. The clouds are constantly peering at me through the blinds. The weather is gray and gloomy. It is cold and chilly. Not a very good setting for someone who is already feeling very low. The news on TV is depressing; tsunami killing thousands.

I feel so worthless. I can not understand how to apply and do not have the strength or will to do it. I know I should but it's so difficult for me that I can't even start. It's a severe mind-block.

My health is really bad. I don't know why it's like this but since a few months my health has been steadily deteriorating. My appetite is almost extinct and I have no energy and I've been having loose motions and digestive disturbances and permanent flu.

I have had so many downs recently but they were followed by ups immediately and there was always a sense of well-being but now I feel so completely lost. I guess, it might be the drastic change of moving to a new country, new house, moving back with family and the phase of life I'm in right now BUT this time I'm afraid I might be slipping into real depression. I hope that doesn't happen and I snap back like I always do. But I can't study, concentrate or sleep. I was much better in Pakistan. I feel so insecure and disturbed.

Please, let the sun shine and bring warmth and security inside me. Let me feel normal like I did always, stop the pain!