MOM CRIES

Apparently, I got a call from 'him' sometime around 6 A.M when I was asleep and my mom picked the phone. She told me that some friend of mine had called so early. I knew it must be 'him'. She asked me who it was because she had forgotten to ask the name. So, I said how would I know if she hadn't asked his name. I gave her a list of possibilities. Then, she said that she was perplexed by all the new friends I had. And then she said that she felt like I was a stranger and she knew nothing about me at all. She said that she felt I was hiding something. I asked her, "Why do you feel that way?" She said, "Ever since you've come here, you seem so different now. As if something has changed. I don't relate to you. You are a stranger to me." WOW! Amazing, because That's how I feel with them.

Then she said, "What is going on with you? I'm very worried. You seem so sad, Bruce. Why won't you tell me what's going on inside you?" I said, "NOTHING!" and then came the tears. She started crying and then my dad held her and consoled her and gave me an accusing look. "It's just the admission problems and sense of incompetence and frustration. I'm ok; don't worry!" I explained.

The thing is, I thought I was doing my best to act as if I was happy and totally fine but I guess they could sense that something was seriously troubling me. That something was amiss. I've never been more depressed.