BRUCE MEETS QUEER PEOPLE

This has been such a tremendous year of growth and change for me that it's quite unbelievable that things can change so much in one year. For instance, It was only in April that I first came out online and that was a huuuuuge deal for me; a major step. I remember suddenly discovering that there were queer people in Pakistan who actually shared their thoughts with each other and that there were whole on-line queer communities. I remember being almost shocked at discovering that, as I thought that no Pakistani would dare to come out, let alone form support networks. I remember how excited I was at my first chat with a gay guy. I remember my first message on a Pakistani gay message board. It was an incredibly eventful, exciting and liberating time. I had never ever shared this part of me with anyone and I was dying for support. Just getting those eternally closeted thoughts out there was an incredible experience. And I'm so fucking glad that I dared to do that because I met the most amazing people due to my postings in that message board. I can't believe my luck at finding them; they have been an incredible source of support and strength for me.

There was this really impressively intelligent and 'cool queer girl' I met through that message board. She was one of the first persons to respond to my first message. The first words she wrote to me touched my heart but I didn't know then that she would become a very special friend of mine. We started to chat on-line and I enjoyed the chat sessions immensely. Then one day she asked me to call her; I was excited because it was like a really important event for me. Just a few weeks ago I had never even met a queer person in the virtual world let alone actually talk to one in real life. I called her up and had an amazing conversation with her. I almost remember each word. Then time passed and we kept on chatting and then I finally met her one fateful day. Oh my God, I was such a nervous wreck that day but when I met her I acted very confident and composed. I swear, it was one of those magical moments which stay forever embedded in the pleasant memories of ones mind.

Then through her I met another amazing person. This guy was much older than me so I was kinda apprehensive about meeting him but then 'cool queer girl' assured me that it was worth meeting him and boy, was she right! He must be the most impressive, attractive and kind person I've ever met. He is one of those people who have a personality that shines and dazzles you. When ever I met him I felt as if I could learn so much from him; he just seems so wise.

My first meeting with him-let's call him 'careless whispers,'- was one of the most amazing events of my life. I was nervous but I was excited more, as this was such an adventure for me. I had traveled to his city and I actually took a bus and went to his place on my own and that was kind of like a first for me. To travel in another city all by myself-not in my parents' car- was so liberating and then to meet a much older gay guy alone on my sole initiative; it was amazing. I liked him the moment I saw him.

It was such an amazing day I spent at his place. I ate great food, drank excellent wine. Since revealing my sexual orientation was such a big deal for me it was like I could discuss anything with him. And that was something I had never done with anyone else. I remember being amazed at how I was able to tell him so much sensitive stuff; there was just something about him that made me want to tell him everything- all my fears and problems- as if just baring myself to him would make it all better, and remarkably it did! And then he sang songs for me while playing his guitar skillfully. Oh, wow! The whole experience was almost surreal; I just felt that it was a very special-almost magical- moment of my life. One of the songs he sang was 'careless whispers' by George Michael; and it got stuck in my head. When I came back to my city, I instantly bought George Michael's CD and kept listening to 'careless whispers.'

So this post is dedicated to these two amazing personalities that I can't believe I had the luck to meet. And I just hope that I can also be something for them and can affect their lives in a positive way as they have mine.

Thank you for just entering in my world guys!