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HOW TO SURVIVE RAMADAN!
TACTICS ON HOW TO SURVIVE RAMADAN FOR 'BAD' MUSLIMS:
So here we are in the middle of Ramadan and wishing somehow that someone would come and make it easier to pass the month. Well, guess what? The devil has arrived and he is equipped with practical tips on surviving Ramadan.
First, if you are bold enough to publicly declare that you won't keep a fast and actually have guts to eat infront of people then wonderful but for all you other less brash souls there are always other ways to celebrate the holy month.
1) WATER: The prohibitation on drinking water is the most grueling and ofcouse you want to stay well hydrated because you read that it keeps your skin glowing. Not to fret; there's a way. Sneakily put one filled bottle in a hiding place, like your closet, from which you can drink water anytime you crave it.
2) FOOD: If you're living in a house where people are always in the kitchen then it's going to be really hard to grab some snacks occasionally BUT what you can do is, again, use your closet! Put as many snacks in your closet as you can and whenever you feel hungry just lock your room, open the closet and gorge! You can buy your favorite snacks e.g: Pringles, Oreos or Nimko from the neighborhood shop in the evening and then strore them in the closet for times of famine.
3) PRAYERS: If you happen to live in a family which is pious enough to force you to pray then there's only two options: rebel or pose. Posing involves telling everyone that you like to pray in your room and then you take the prayer mat in your room, lock the door, chill out and emerge after a while from your room commenting on how calming prayers can be!
4) SEX: You can just forget about abstaining from sex, don't even think about it. Yup, the good old privacy of your room...Got it?
Last note: If you have a slight guilty feeling what will you do? Pray? Fast? NO! You're going to dig in your deep pockets and actually give some of the money you were hoarding to the poor and destitute. You are going to help people and be kind. You're going to be accepting, accommodating and just. I'm sure that will please Allah more than a thousand fasts and prayers.
So here we are in the middle of Ramadan and wishing somehow that someone would come and make it easier to pass the month. Well, guess what? The devil has arrived and he is equipped with practical tips on surviving Ramadan.
First, if you are bold enough to publicly declare that you won't keep a fast and actually have guts to eat infront of people then wonderful but for all you other less brash souls there are always other ways to celebrate the holy month.
1) WATER: The prohibitation on drinking water is the most grueling and ofcouse you want to stay well hydrated because you read that it keeps your skin glowing. Not to fret; there's a way. Sneakily put one filled bottle in a hiding place, like your closet, from which you can drink water anytime you crave it.
2) FOOD: If you're living in a house where people are always in the kitchen then it's going to be really hard to grab some snacks occasionally BUT what you can do is, again, use your closet! Put as many snacks in your closet as you can and whenever you feel hungry just lock your room, open the closet and gorge! You can buy your favorite snacks e.g: Pringles, Oreos or Nimko from the neighborhood shop in the evening and then strore them in the closet for times of famine.
3) PRAYERS: If you happen to live in a family which is pious enough to force you to pray then there's only two options: rebel or pose. Posing involves telling everyone that you like to pray in your room and then you take the prayer mat in your room, lock the door, chill out and emerge after a while from your room commenting on how calming prayers can be!
4) SEX: You can just forget about abstaining from sex, don't even think about it. Yup, the good old privacy of your room...Got it?
Last note: If you have a slight guilty feeling what will you do? Pray? Fast? NO! You're going to dig in your deep pockets and actually give some of the money you were hoarding to the poor and destitute. You are going to help people and be kind. You're going to be accepting, accommodating and just. I'm sure that will please Allah more than a thousand fasts and prayers.
THE DEVIL HAS SPOKEN!
posted by Brucie | 9:57 AM
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