MOMMY I FOUND A VICTIM--HE'S CALLED BRUCE.

"I bet this pillow, if pressed hard enough against my ears, can block the screeching of the little devil"

Here is a thought that was most definitely useful--for a few minutes that is. After that I realized it looked weird to press the seat pillow on my ears like that, and being one extremely concerned about how I look, I regained a semblance of dignity again. If I could instead just enact a rule banning all babies and toddlers from being in a ten-mile radius from me then I would be a happy man-no make that-I would be a guy without thoughts of innovative use of pillows :-)

Ok so I had to endure the cranky toddler and the whining baby on my train journey from Portland to San Fran. I guess, it's one of those rule thingies: Everything good in life is preceded by something unpleasant and followed by difficulty (Bruce Theorem). It's like a natural fees system; good things aren't for free you have to pay for them by enduring hours of irritating sounds and friendly toddlers who disturb your peace.

I have an interesting relationship with human beings below six-years: They get excited at my sight and want to play with me and I get mortified at their sight and (to keep up appearances--see, I'm overly concerned about other people's view about me) pretend to enjoy playing with them. Actually I think I do like babies and toddlers, I think they are cute, but that doesn't mean that I would want to play with them too much, especially on a train! Unfortunately children absolutely love me. It's as if they are pulled towards me from every corner of the train. Erm, Ok so that was exaggeration but the one toddler on the next seat was enough trouble. He kept on handing me his toys and expecting me to devise ingenious play themes with them. All I could do was shake the car or plane and hope that was enough. It turns out that no matter what I do children still love me as the toddler was fascinated by me and completely focused his energy on me throughout the journey (If only men could be that smitten by me!).

Then there was the baby, if I would even accidentally look at him he would get all excited and get a huge smile on his face and arms would flail around wildly. The mother was delighted, "Oh look! he likes you!" Yes lady I can see that but that does not mean that you take advantage of my sweet nature and neglect your duties by handing over the baby to me! So I had to occasionally hold the baby as well and ofcourse I can't say no--never!

Otherwise the train was one luxurious traveling device. It had a cafe` and a great restaurant. It had a viewing lounge area. It had comfortable seat with lots of space. It had good movies to watch. Best of all the man serving my compartment was HOT.

After some time I perked up my ears and heard the intercom beep, "Ladies and gentlemen...blah blah blah...San Fran"

It was fun in San Fran and then Sacramento and then LA but don't get any ideas I haven't had any sex :-( LOL

TO BE CONTINUED... (MAYBE if I want to write about visiting usual tourist spots etc. it was fun for me but not exactly an exciting read)