OH, SWEET PUPPY LOVE! YEAH RIGHT!

I fell in love with a girl when I was 15. "WHAT?!" you ask, "yes, that's true" I reply. That leaves you scratching your head and makes me realize that I need to clarify. They say almost all gays have girlfriends or crushes on girls when they were in high school; I don't know if that statement is correct, but I do know that I had a crush on a girl.

Okay, so here's the dig... this happened when I was going through the phase in which I was denying my homosexuality when it was assaulting my senses every single day. The time when I felt attracted to men and felt nothing towards girls and completely blocked the obvious by believing I was not gay. I was desperate to convince my increasingly cynical rational part of brain that I was straight despite all the obvious signs. So, I made myself think that I had a crush on a girl in my class. In reality I didn't really feel anything but the brain is a strange machine as I actually kept on fooling myself eventhough deep down inside I knew that I was just kidding myself. But that's what the power of denial is, I couldn't face the truth so even the ridiculous felt like the truth.

I kept on thinking about 'that girl' and tried to become her really close friend and just when our friendship seemed to be really blooming I confessed my undying love for her. She just completely lost her bearing!

At first she tried to talk me into senses but I was stubborn so she stopped talking to me. I realized that I didn't really love her when I felt no remorse what so ever at her refusal to talk to me anymore and then I knew thatI had lost a great friend in the madness.

When a person's first crush story is so pathetic, is he supposed to cry or just laugh at the irony of it all?!