STRIP SHOW...STEP RIGHT UP ;-)

Man, sometimes I even freak myself out! Like yesterday night I was in an awful mood and started craving a fag (cigarette...I know what you were thinkin!). I'm actually very anti-smoking (I swear!), I have just smoked a lil' bit in early teenhood and after that I had only bought a pack of cigarettes 2 weeks ago. I smoked a few cigarettes and thought it was a very silly thing to do so I threw it outside my house in an empty plot. So, yesterday night I actually made an effort to search for the discarded pack. Imagine me searching for it in the dark at about 7:30 pm. But the hard-work paid off and I found my beloved pack and proceeded to smoke a couple of fags.


After that I watched a movie and then when everyone was asleep (12:00) I started getting even weirder. I went to the dressing room, locked the door and stripped in front of the mirror and admired myself intently.

I just kept on thinking that this was the time when my body was at its prime and my emotions raw and I just wished there was somebody there to look at me and touch my body and love and lust over me. Standing there in front of the mirror buck naked looking at myself and wishing for someone to be there to admire and love me; I started to cry. I just couldn't understand why I was so isolated and why no one had ever fallen in love with me. Why couldn't there be someone who I could strip for and lie close to and hug and kiss warmly?

I would make a fabulous lover. Looking at myself in the mirror made me feel unappreciated and I felt as if my body and soul were getting wasted until they lose their beauty.

Then suddenly I felt strong and made myself believe that I didn't need anyone; I could live alone. And if no one can appreciate me then it's their loss; I'm not going to constantly beat myself about it. And it was then that I looked at myself again and literally could see myself glow and I knew that I can make it on my own.

Ciao